I’ve been doing some research on LOVE. Why am I doing a research on love? You might be asking yourself? Out of everything that I have gone though, I’ve been to figure out why I’ve been looking for LOVE and don’t focus on anything else. I am always looking for that fairy tale. To be with someone that I love and can cherish so much. Then I get to the point where I want nothing to do with guy, nothing to do with Love or even future marriage. When I look at couples I must be jealous, because they sometimes make me sick, just by looking at there love. Other times I love it, I love watching cute couples walking down the street.
I feel like every guy that comes into my life. I don’t put my all into the relationship. Probably because I’ve been though guy after guy (Lost of hope, or don’t feel anything towards that person) a new guy every month or so. Since I was engaged, the marriage was supposed to be November 17, 2006. The family has noticed that I can not put my heart into it. I’m either scared of getting hurt or I just don’t click with them. I counted all my relationships. Majority of them were what I like to call a trial relationship. To see if you two could actually call your self’s an “item”, a couple, and boyfriend/girlfriend. Majority of them didn’t work out. Or they would work out, and then I would totally ruin things, because it wasn’t what I wanted.
I’m not going to give you the number of how many guys that I have dated since I was engaged. I have gotten tired of people saying “so… who are you dating now?” The saying is never, “so…how is Bob doing?” (My make up boyfriend at the moment). I’ve been trying to figure what was wrong with me after that question. I then ran into this Lecture…
I just found out, way back in the day with LOVE, around the 12th century. There was a notion called “courtly love”, it had nothing to do with Marriage or Sex. It was defined as passionate relationship, between a knight and a lady of the court (whom was already married). So they could never consummate their love. They took sex out of the equation and they would go after something more divine. All that was left was a union of souls. Sex was always the fatal love potion, usually would lead to Madness, despair, or Death. True love has spiritual demotions. While romantic love is nothing but a lie, an illusion, a modern myth, a soulless manipulation.
(The relationships that I look back on the most were the ones that had that true love, which was just the union of souls. I have to admit finding that kind of love is very rare to come by. Some times I look back and wonder what if I was in that relationship with that one special guy again. Then realize it would have never worked, because of other things.)
We all want to fall in love. That experience makes us feel completely alive. I love feeling like I’m flying, even if it is only a minute, hour, or month. But those special moments we will treasure for the rest of our lives. Why do people what to fall in love? When it can be something short and be so very painful if things don’t work out (the game called chance)… I think the reason why is because while it does last, it feels so wonderful, so great you feel that you feel special. That when your there you feel so amazing.
3 comments:
Interesting thoughts on L-O-V-E. I personally think that love is overrated and outdated. Especially the thought that there is just one person out there that we're supposed to end up with. I think that the person we're supposed to be with is whoever we make it to be.
I wrote about the love that was out there way back in the day. At the end there are lots of people out there now that can complet you. I don't believe that there is just one person out there for you. I love, love. It's a curse. I don't know what to really think about it. I think about all the many things about love... like for example I love the type of love were your souls just talk. It's nothing physical. It's like you have been best friends for years. I was kind of out of it when I wrote this.
What I want to get across though is that there is that special love that I think that everyone should be looking for. Be the best friend to that special someone. Don't use them, don't abuse them. Because once they are gone. It hurts like no other. Be there for them as you would want them to be there for you. It's a two way street.
Remember to Love with all your heart!
I totally agree with you. When you actually have that special kind of love with someone, there is no greater feeling. And when it's gone, it hurts like you've never been hurt before. You'd think that after experiencing hurt like that, people would avoid getting into relationships, but we don't.
Post a Comment