Valentine Madness Modeling!!!

So On Thursday I went to this Modeling Agentcy.
Where there where Six Photographers.
This one was taken by a guy Named Mike Kasper.
They are not finished, Yet I posted them anyways.
It's going to be fun to see what they look like when they are all
finished. Tell me what you think of them. I think
Mike did a wonderful job.

love ya all!!!

Letting it all out on the table

People Keep asking me how come I'm doing so well with
the whole "Brant thing" Well to tell you the honest truth,
I cried really hard for the first Two Weeks, then I got numb
the third week. Now I'm just myself and moving forward with
things. After NEVER hearing from him.

I have a story to tell you...

It has to do with a guy I dated once upon a time.
We dated for a month and it wasn't any serious like
Brant and I Yet...
This friend you don't know of, and would
probably never meet. Anyways... Lets Call him Bob...
Well Bob and I dated for a little while. He was so in
love with me. Yet when it came down to commitment,
to just A Relationship,
He decided to run. ( I told Brant this was
like a ripple affect. Just like a relationship I had before,
even though they are not the same. It still has the same
Context).
Bob told me everything that Brant did.
Except Brant and I where at a different Level of high on love. lol!
Which I have never been so happy in four years.

Anyways after I knew the guy just wanted to "date around"
I let him. I then moved out of state for three months.
Came home and then Bob decided to move out
of state. Then finally decided to give me
"text messages" and "calling" for only a good
six min. tops. This went on for a good five
months. Then It was a call once a month,
when he came home to Utah.
I soon caught up on his dating life when he got
home. He found out that all the girls loved him. He dated
around back in Utah. Then told me he loved
the girls and loved his life.

Just last night. I got a call from Bob. He asked
how my love life was. I told him a little bit. Then
he told me that the girls didn't love him anymore. He has
been dating a girl for the last three months. She is
getting mad at him, because he wont say they
are "together", He wont move forward and commit to
just a relationship. I just laughed.
He told her that just wasn't going
to happen. He told her that he didn't want
what she wanted. He was upset because girls
just don't date and have "fun". He said
"why can't you girls just date have fun
and not want anything out of it? why can't you girls just
have fun? This just doesn't make since to me. It just isn't
the same like it was back in high school. Where we all just dated and had
fun. You girls just get way to serious and after dating
them for awhile you want a relationship. I hate girls, they
are WAY too dramatic." I told him that wasn't how we
are programed, and I know he wasn't
going to get away with just "dating" us girl.
Especially if you have been dating the same girl
for three months, and so called "leading her on".
When you KNOW nothing is going to come out of it.
We both knew we where just friends,
and that's all it will ever be. Now that I know that he just
wants to play the field. Which I know that is why a lot of
the girls wont date him. They told him that they where
seeing someone else, when he asked them out on a date.
He didn't like the fact that he wasn't a "ladies man" anymore.
Now I see him as a Chump, that likes to play the field.
Yet I'm letting him play the field.

Guys Reality check... Girls don't like to JUST Date. It's a true story.
Ask around. Girls will tell you the same thing.
If you even go on a second date with them, they
get all excited. If you've been dating for a month
and your kissing the girl, they are looking for a relationship.
Girls don't like it when you have been with them for
three months and your still dating other girls. If they
get pissed off then yes there is a problem with your
program. I told Bob that he is going to grow old with no one,
if he kept this up. He is going to lose the one that he loves.
I don't think he cares at this point. Just because Guys don't
think about there actions until after. Sometimes it takes
awhile to realize that they lost someone great.

See with Brant, it really is a waist of time to
cry over something that is never going to be.
A guy that wants to Play the field, date around.
Brant gave me a scripture in D & C. (He received Revelation
that this is what he needed to do with him and I)
The scripture says.
"Seek and Ye shall find. Knock and it shall be open unto you".
So there for the scripture is saying "he needs to date around".
So since we hit a "Plato", like Brant said we hit. His
answer from God was to date around.

During the week that we hit this Plato.
I hit a really small hard patch of PMS!!
Girls just push your guy away for a week When you get
this PMS for a week. You either get really horny
(to be blunt) , really tired, really
angry, really emotional. Just stay away from him,
you confuse the poor thing. Then makes him think
you hit this dang Plato.

If Brant Honestly loved me like he said he did.
Be all caught up in me, then one week decides that he
does not want what I want, and there is "no more fun".
Well the only thing that brings
out in me now is Anger, which is bad. I'm coming
down to reality. Where sometimes a guy just
doesn't want a girl around. He is just fine where he is.
So... I'm moving forward.

Yet if Brant ever wanted to come back around. He
really is going to have to prove his self, that this
is what he really wants. I really don't know just
yet if that will ever happen. So... guys just LOVE
girls and they LOVE to play. So in reality girls.
If he wants to play, let him. If he wants to come
back. Make him work for it.

OK I feel better now that I let this all out on the table.

My man Nate

A guy named Nate. We meet on New Years eve.
Spent time together and hit it off. His friend
Shawn was a little drunk and was hitting on me.
I found out that Shawn is 28 and Nate was 31.
I'm sure Nate thought that I wouldn't be interested in him
after he told me his age. Yet I don't think that age really
matters. I believe that it is the Maturity level that means
the most.

Nate is a man that just got out of the Military in November.
Honorable to his work for 7 years. Started a new job
working for the Hospital Labs. Fixing equipment
and making a Great living. I'm sad because his work
has him travel a lot. He's used to it from the Military.

Something more about Nate he has two beautiful little girls.
I don't worry too much about that. He's a great father and
Loves his little angels.

Nate loves the out doors, as in fishing, camping, skiing,
dirt biking, Basketball etc. He is a handy man. I'm sure he can
fix anything that is in front of him.
He remodled an old dirt bike that he got. Now it
looks brand new.

Nate as you can tell is very handsome and caught
my eye from the very beginning. Wonderful thing
about it all... I'm crazy about this kid. As I know
he is about me. (He told me)

At the moment He is looking for a home to buy.
I'm sure he will find something. Considering
he wants to live in Draper or Sandy.

I'm happy for all the many things that I have in common
with Nate. I'm happy that he is such a fantastic person.
Not only to me, but to those around him. He is
a Great guy, wonderful friend.

I'm just living day to day. Wondering to see where
things will take off from here.

Make it Happen

I was very inspired by this movie "Make it happen".
in which she stars as a struggling dancer trying to make it in Chicago.
That anything is possible if you just put your mind to it.
You just have to go out and get it.

I always have issues. When things get a little hard. I always
give up. I have been learning slowly to take things
as they come but keep working at it. I love the
part where she puts her self into situations.
Her passion was dancing. She wanted to be one.
So she drove to Chicago which was 220 mile or so
drive. She pushed her self and worked her way
into one of the hardest dance schools to get into over in
Chicago. The teacher was very hard on her the first
time and tore her down. Told her that she just wasn't
good enough. She had to work at a dance club to
learn the things that she was missing. She
almost gave up, yet kept going forward.

I know that we all have a dream in our life.
A lot of us give up on the dream and just settle.
I'm the kind of girl that doesn't want to just settle.
I know for a fact that I'm going to keep working hard at
the things that I really want in my life and just go for it.

Thanks!

Alright guys, I have been a little down.
I didn't want to go home yet I just wanted to
go out and have some fun. So I called JJ up
and asked if he wanted to go out to eat.
So we went to Tepanyaki's IT was AMAZING.
You all need to go and have some fun.

I was really Fun and entertaining.
Lets just say it was pricey. The plates are about 18.00 a plate.
But JJ and I wanted the whole meal. Which was
appetizers and desert with the main plate.
it was sooooo good. They start you off with a really good
broth in a bowl, while you are waiting for the chef.
I felt like it cleaned out the throat
(which i needed). We had Two egg roles,
teriyaki chicken, Salad for the appetizers.
The main dish was Salmon, Tender Stake,
Shrimp, and cooked veggie. At the end
we had A small cup of ice cream. Lets just
say I took home a dogie bag. lol! The price
for two for that meal was 55.00 Which
wasn't bad for a show and a really good meal.

The Japanese chefs would make dinner in front
of you and put on a show. It was so much fun.
He tossed a shrimp into my mouth. That
was fun. I have never done that before.
LOL! It ended up being a good night.

New years Resolution

resolution
As I think about how I want to play this New Year.
I really just want to get rid of some Bills.
Fix my car. Better myself. Get fit! Staying Healthy.
Moving forward and not looking back on things.
Remembering who I was. Taking Chances.
Having fun!!! Not running from Problems
and taking care of them when I am faced with them.
Getting closer with family. Being there for my friends.
Thinking though things before buying them.
Put a mark on this world. So that I can be remembered
for something good. Not being implosive.
Maybe School!!! Start Dancing more.

I think this is a good list. I need to also not be
so serious all the time. Take life as it comes.
Climb over all the obstacle's in life. This
time being a Great person.

I believe 2008 was a great year going to
Chicago and being a nanny, to coming home
and doing some school. I really enjoyed coming
back to the singles ward, and getting a calling.
Finding out from the Doctors that I don't have anything
wrong in my Colon. lol!
Yet still having problems. Hum...
Loved getting closer with my family. Being blessed with
a Job at the Health Department. :0)

VERY important of the year would be
Lydia, JJ, Andy, Brant, Liz, Brook, and Whitney.
Mom, Dad, and Mckenzie. < 3 x Rock!!!

Thank you guys for being such wonderful friends to me.
Remember that I love you all!!!
xoxoxo

New Years Night 2009

Hey everyone.
Disaster to Having a Blast!
New years was a very interesting night.
Not the way that I was thinking, yet all ended up being really
fun. I went to some lounge place. After talking with Brant.
Didn't know it was a club till after I walked in.
Was not having fun with a whole bunch of break dancers
in the club. I ended up paying 10.00 and decided I would
make myself enjoy this. Seeing that I payed money for it
and all. I really didn't want to be there.
So I went up stairs and watched everyone else having fun.
It was kind of funny to see everyone go all crazy.

There was a really nice lady that came up and wished me
a Happy New years. With a few others. I thought it was
really nice to see how people can be in this world.

Soon after the ball dropped two very handsome boys
came walking in, very preppy. The first thing that popped
in my head was "holy cow. Normal people"
I loved it.

I shook Nate's hand and then he walked away.
Because he was very thirsty. lol! Then his friend
Shook my hand and sat by my side and
wanted to get to know me more.
He came to find out what I was all about
and That I was all alone. Nate soon came back
and Shawn told Nate about me and they wanted
to hang out with me more.

Nate hated the place and wanted to leave. They asked
if I wanted to come with. "Of course". Anything
had to be better with these NORMAL boys.

We went to Keys on Main. It's a piano bar.
Very much my taste. As I had Diet Coke, and
got to know Nate better. I was so excited to hear
all there adventures together being in the military.
Very fun! They told me about all the crazy girls trying
to get to know them. As they just looked at them funny as
I did with all the crazy guys in SLC. Which one tried to spill
his beer on me (just because I wasn't going to drink. then told me
I was BORING.) Not putting up with that.

I drove them to there hotel. We stayed up watching Phantom of the
opera. Then we watch a Series of The Funniest Home video.
I don't think I could have ended the night better then
Laughing and watching some fun shows. It was great company.

I left to dads feel asleep for a little while. Took a bath in some cold water
,because Ann was doing laundry. Then hung out with Nate.
Went to Red Robin then watched a movie.
I believe it was the Ben something movie. lol!
It was very good.

Happy New Years Everyone!!!
Don't Drink and Drive...